14 August 2013

It's Not You, It's Me

This past weekend was an uncommon and unusual one for me.  I had social engagements two nights in a row and went to both.  One was a LOT more fun than I had expected and the other went, well, as expected.

Regardless of how anyone, on either night, behaved in general or toward me it was ultimately my choice how I felt about it and dealt with it.

In retrospect these two events (each with a very different "crowd") seem like a metaphor for the balance I am striving to create in my life.  Instead of the Old versus New, it is more like the Old versus Recent.  If you can qualify the past three years as "Recent."  The New, The Now, is somewhere in between those poles.

I felt much more comfortable and warmly welcomed in a group were I knew almost no one than I did in a group where I knew most of the people.  Why was this?  Read below.

Friday's Lessons:  Sometimes all you need is a reminder that there are people who own and love dogs, but are outside of the obsessive, takes-over-your-whole-life dog rescue world.  Being able to discuss my other passions with like-minded ladies was refreshing and good for the soul.  Dressing up and doing girly stuff makes me feel good about myself, as opposed to schlepping around in yoga pants and a tank top (covered in dog hair) all the time.  Don't expect me to be hitting the grocery store in high heels and red lipstick (like I used to), but a nice cotton sundress and pinning my hair up into the semblance of a hairstyle is a big step up from my usual errand-running attire (which looks an awful like dog walking/running attire).

Saturday's Lessons:  Sometimes not feeling like you "fit in" is exactly that.  You don't.  Or in this case, I don't.  To be honest, I don't really feel a sense of belonging to the dog rescue community as a whole anymore.  I've often not really felt "a part of things" when among Tucson dog rescuers, but Saturday night really drove that home.  

Firstly, I run a primarily purebred dog rescue.  I own two purebreds and one crossbreed.  I'm not rampantly anti-breeder, as so many rescue people are.  I have good friends who are wonderful, responsible breeders.  My next dog will be a German shorthaired pointer puppy from a breeder.  I'll always have a rescued GSP, but I also want a dog that I can show and compete in field events with.

Over time the gulf between myself and the majority of rescue folks has increased until it has become a concrete fact.  I am not really bothered by this.

In summary, change is a good thing.  Sometimes you simply change differently that those around you.  It isn't good or bad, it just is.

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