09 October 2013

Not Just the Sky Diving Post

It's almost a quarter after one in the morning and I don't feel like composing my thoughts about skydiving.  Basically it wasn't that fun.  Not scary.  The free fall was awful and seemed to last forever.  Maybe it wouldn't have sucked if I had a full face helmet on like my tandem-pro.  The parachute part wasn't bad, but let's face it.  The middle of the desert doesn't have much in the way of picturesque landscape.  It's mostly brown.  With dots of scrub brush, cacti, & cholla.  There are mountains.  Which are mostly shades of brown.

I feel guilty, but I just didn't enjoy it.  I'm proud of myself that I was able to jump (har har) that far outside my comfort zone.

The best part of sky diving?  Weighing in!  I'm down to 143.  To put that into perspective I have lost 33 lbs. in the past year.  WOOHOO!!

Okay, onto the extras.  Time to reveal secrets.

  1. I like Taylor Swift
  2. I hate the colour red, but I own one item of red clothing because it's a blouse with tiny GSPs on it.
  3. I am blowing off two days in Chicago to meet a good friend, her dogs, and attend a field trial.  Yup.  That's how you rank, Chi-town!  Let's face it: everything comes in second place when it comes to German shorthaired pointers and GSP friends.
  4. I don't skirts that are above the knee and only own skirts that hit just below the knee or a couple inches beyond (which is perfection).  Call me a prude.  I'm really not, but I guess I'm modest.  Part of being a 30 old spinster?
  5. I fixed my garbage disposal tonight.  Without gloves because apparently they have holes in them.  Grody!  But I fixed it, damnit.
  6. I secretly listen to pop music (like, recent stuff) when I am cleaning the house.  I don't even know the names of most of the songs or "artists" except that I always recognize Taylor Swift.  Did I mention that I like her?  It's true; and not just because she's a spokesperson for KEDS (which I LOVE), although that gives her bonus points.
  7. I sometimes decorate my house for Christmas during months which are not December.  Or even near December.  It cheers me up.  So who cares?  (It's a good thing I live alone and the dogs don't care what I do or don't do.)

14 September 2013

Food Karma: Hunting

I'd like to begin by saying that I eat a mostly vegetarian diet.  Pretty close to vegan with the exception of eggs locally raised with love by a friend and the occasional bottle or jar of kefir.  Okay, I love Middle Eastern yogurt (think Greek yogurt... but better).  I love cheese, but am horribly allergic to lactose so there goes that temptation (most of the time).  99% of the time I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.  Or any other pole. Or any other Pole.

Anyway.  Back to the subject of eating animals which is what I meant to talk about in the first place.  As a very Buddhist leaning Agnostic, I do overall believe in not harming other living beings or contributing to their suffering.

I especially do not eat factory farmed animals who have endured lives of great suffering (regardless of what the FDA or USDA finds acceptable), which means you won't catch me buying meat, poultry, eggs, or dairy from my local supermarket.  I am not against the consumption of meat as food but I am completely against playing a part in a practice that I find inhumane to the point of barbarism.  By giving those companies my money I would not only be condoning their practices, but playing a vital role in ensuring these unethical practices continue.

I cannot count the number of people I've spoken to about food and their diets only to be told, "well if I knew where it came from, I couldn't eat it."  That should tell you something right there.

Which brings me to a rather contentious point.  A friend of mine who is a Buddhist sometimes eats meat.  While he is respectful of the animal that gave it's life, which is in a likelihood feedlot beef, he was completely appalled and absolutely livid that I am considering learning to hunt.

Deliberately killing another living creature does incur bad karma.  Killing is bad; we all basically know that right?  But how does eating the meat of an animal that spent most it's life in unsanitary, cramped, and inhumane conditions bestow less negative karma simply because you didn't personally commit the act of slaughter?  Is there a karmic loophole I am not aware of?  Someone else gets the full burden of bad karma from taking an animal's life and you get to enjoy cheeseburger while enjoying a lesser karmic weight?  I find this completely unethical and dishonest to the point of hypocrisy.  You're actively participating in perpetuating the suffering of living creatures.  How does this have less karmic impact?  I don't believe it does.  It has more because you've made the deliberate decision to participate in the continuation of a cycle of cruelty.

Moving onto the topic of hunting, how does eating conventionally grown meat or poultry incur less karmic debt or guilt than killing a wild animal quickly and humanely, respecting the animal that gave it's life, the life that you took, and then feeding your family and friends?  At least you own that karma instead of hiding behind plastic packaged hunks of skinned, de-boned barely recognizable flesh.

Is it because the former removes you from the nitty gritty far enough that you can stomach the food products you consume?  Food that would probably turn you into a vegan if slaughter houses had glass walls?

I'm not going to lie; wild animals don't live in an idyllic paradise any more than the milk you drink or butter you eat comes from cows that graze in the technicolor pastures next to Old McDonald's freshly painted red barn.  The difference is that wild animals have the chance to participate in nature and are a part of the natural world; domestic animals raised in factory like farms called CAFOs (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations) have zero chance of living anything resembling a normal, natural or humane life.  They are little more than commodities processed through streamlined, industrial systems.

If you're okay voting for those practices with your hard earned money that choice is yours to make.  We all have that choice.  I choose not to.

Returning to hunting, I grew up in Michigan where hunting has always had a sense of normalcy to me even though I went through a very vocal anti-hunting phase and then became vegetarian for a couple years when I was in middle school.  In hindsight my heart and ethics were in the right place, but if I'd more educated I would have railed against CAFOs and commercial fishing practices.

The anti-hunting beliefs I held when I was younger was the direct result of one particular incident involving poachers on our land.  I was with my grandmother, driving back to her house which is set far back from the road.  A doe was dragging herself across the field because her back end was paralyzed.  She was in agony.  The two hunters were standing next to the tailgate of their pickup truck drinking coffee and chatting nonchalantly.  I couldn't have been more then ten years old.  I was out of the car, yelling at them (I have no recollection of what I said) before my grandmother could lock the door.  I mean, they were clearly assholes, were trespassing, and had guns.  I did return to the car at my grandmother's frantic request... as we drove away I heard a gunshot and hoped they finally put that poor doe out of her horrific suffering.

I would like to be clear that I don't approve of hunting for mere sport or a trophy to hang over the mantelpiece.  And that solitary incident left me with an extremely negative opinion of hunters in general (no one in my family was more than a casual, sometimes weekend hunter).

One of the many benefits of starting an upland bird hunting dog rescue is that while I've met some of the most heartless and inhumane people imaginable I have also had the incredible pleasure of meeting so many hunters who have such overwhelming compassion and respect for their dogs, the environment, conservation, and the game they pursue.

As someone who has a lifelong love of food and deeply held ethics about where my food comes from, hunting seems like an inevitable marriage between my philosophy and inherent pragmatism.

While I cannot give certain dear friends of mine enough credit that is their due for continually inspiring me (and sometimes picking on me), there is one book in particular that I have read and reread which sparked my gradually increasing leaning toward learning to hunt and source my own food.  How far do you have to lean before you tip over?  Hmm.

 The book I am alluding to is "Girl Hunter" by chef Georgia Pellegrini. I only read a chapter at a time (and this is my second read-through), to let the humour, wisdom, and determined spirit of adventure steep into my mind.  Not to mention the recipes, which are worth buying the book for on their own merit.

I could not recommend this book more highly to anyone who hunts, is considering hunting, loves food, loves cooking, cares about eating locally, or who doesn't hold a good opinion of hunting at all.  There is something to entertain and educate everyone.  Plus it's available in multiple formats!  Hardcover, paperback, audio book, Kindle edition, etc.


For more cooking, hunting, gathering, and old timey skills check out Georgia's blog.  You can also find the link to her blog on the right sidebar under ~ Food Blogs ~.


31 August 2013

Sunsets and Sunrises

Sometimes you glide so slowly from one chapter of your life into the next that you barely notice you've turned a page until the plot suddenly feels unfamiliar.

Other times the door slams.  So you shrug, slide the deadbolt, turn your back and then walk off into the sunset like the end of a spaghetti western.

After experiencing the former over the course of the past two or three years to the point that I barely recognize myself (which has its pros and cons), the latter came out of nowhere recently.  I do understand how difficult I am to care about, especially when I unexpectedly isolate people.  Sometimes it is out of depression; sometimes it's because my moods are cycling for weeks and I don't want other people to have to deal with that; sometimes I just want to be alone because I'm feeling good, doing well, like where I am at the moment, and feel like being around others will get me off-track.  But it's never personal and doesn't mean I don't care, although I can see why other people may take it that way when I don't communicate. 

At this point, it is what it is and I've already swiftly moved on because that's what I do.  This blew up?  Doesn't seem fixable?  Okay, what's next?

In other news I've been tiptoeing on the line between identifying myself as a Buddhist or a Buddhist leaning Agnostic.  That is an entirely different post for another day (which I will hopefully write in the few days if I can keep my writing momentum going).  Suffice to say that I've slipped pretty firmly back into Agnostic territory.  Partially because my views regarding food, specifically the karma of hunting animals for food and the act of eating animals in a more general sense.  This has been a source of conflict in my mind and heart for years now.  My views on the ethics, sustainability, and humane (or inhumane) nature of food sources haven't changed as much as sorted themselves out into a cohesive set of principles.  Perhaps this is a peripheral effect of sorting my brain out in the broader scheme of things.

On the topic of brains, mine has been doing pretty well even during the recent personal upheaval.  My Lamictal dosage was recently increased from 200mg to 300mg and although I am only on Day Seven of the transition I am already noticing a significant difference even with the accompanying side effects.  This is par for the course and most vanish or decrease within a week or so.  Now that it's been a week my constant fatigue is becoming sporadic, my energy is increasing, and my ability to focus has improved quite a bit. 

Another new development in the realm of mental health is that I've found an AMAZING online Bipolar Disorder support group which I am so extremely grateful for.  Being understood is important to everyone, but even more so for people who have Bipolar Disorder.  Unless you have experienced what this illness feels like firsthand there is really no way to understand completely what we go through no matter how much you read, research, try to understand and try to show compassion.  Believe me, we ALL appreciate when those around us do what they can to support us and really try.  I know that isn't remotely easy and most of the time there really isn't much you can do.  Finding a group of people where you have the safety to speak openly, vent, and express yourself without fear of judgment is without parallel.  The therapeutic benefit is enormous.

The title of one of my all-time favourite novels seems an appropriate phrase to conclude this post:
The Sun Also Rises




30 August 2013

TED Talk: Ruby Wax on Mental Illness

Below is the link to an absolutely brilliant TED talk given by Ruby Wax on the subject of mental illness.

One of the best points she made is that when someone has a physically visible illness or injury, the outpouring of sympathy can be (and often is) enormous.  You break your leg or are diagnosed with a chronic illness and everyone is sending flowers, cards, visiting you, offering to walk your dog and water your plants, etc.  The difference?  A broken leg is an injury that heals and you're more likely to get loving care & support from a broken leg than a nervous breakdown.

Like any chronic illness, mental illnesses and disorders require doctors, medications, and treatment plans.  Unlike other chronic illnesses our symptoms manifest in thoughts, feelings, words, and actions because it is our brain that is the affected organ.  Yet even when our illness is known by those around us we're accused of being melodramatic or making things up.  Of being selfish jerks or not trying hard enough because we fail to meet our obligations or disappoint those around us.

The worst is being told to "snap out of it" as if it's something we could overcome if we simply applied ourselves.  Or to "perk up" (as Ruby Wax put it) when we're depressed.  Because if that was possible, we would never have thought of that!  Right?!

Not that the insensitivity of others is deliberate even though it is still hurtful.  Most of my family doesn't know or doesn't want to talk about it or thinks of my bipolar disorder as something in the past that I've "grown out of " or that my symptoms will entirely go away because I'm on medication.

By the way... those last two items?   Not even remotely true; that's the thing with many chronic illnesses: they don't go away and they don't have a cure.

Enough of my pontificating.  Onto the video!  I guarantee you will enjoy it, laugh a few times, and quite possibly learn a few things while you're at it.

(Click the link above to view video.)

22 August 2013

20 August 2013

Today: 8 August 2013

Two thunderous booms, one flash of lightning, thirty raindrops on the external side of my bedroom window, and a little post-lightning rumbling... then it's over.  Just an afternoon storm; here and quickly gone.

This song entirely expresses how I feel today:


"Primavera" by Ludovico Einaudi

16 August 2013

Vocabulary Lesson: Couler

You learn something new everyday; or you can if you make an effort.  Yesterday I learned what the term "couler" means when describing an action a pointing breed dog can perform in the field.  There is a link to a very informative YouTube video at the bottom of this point (because I couldn't get it to properly embed).

Makes me wonder if that is what Gatsby is actually doing (on his own, without my direction) when he points and then starts creeping toward pigeons (who are usually milling about).  I will have to watch him more closely to see if he only does this when the bird he's found is on the move.  He definitely has a more solid point on doves, which tend to be pretty stationary.  Gats does seem to enjoy menacing and chasing pigeons, which he doesn't do with other birds.  More on that in the following paragraph.

Not knowing about his past training (I got him when he was 6) and relying on the opinions of a field trainer and a couple experienced upland bird hunting friends (one w/ GSPs, the other w/ GWPs) to determine what Gats knows/doesn't know... general consensus is that he's without doubt been hunted but doesn't have the manners of a field trial dog (also he's huge and FT dogs tend to be small & quick) or competition dog.  He's also a point stealing jerk who flips out if another dog gets to retrieve the shot bird, but that's another story for another day.  Like I said: no manners.  The dudes also think that his desire to bump pigeons (causing them to fly without stopping/pointing) could be because a lot of trainers use them and he doesn't take them seriously because he knows they're not "really hunting" when he's been exposed to them.  I will absolutely admit that I don't know enough about this subject matter to agree or disagree and am very open to other interpretations of Gatsby's behaviour.


Anyhow, I've gotten completely off track (typical) and having provided a definition for the term I began to write about in the first place.

Couler is when a dog points and then begins to creep stealthily toward a located bird, usually because the bird is moving and they're trying to get it to set (sit still) to reestablish point so that the hunter can flush and shoot.  From what I understand, dogs are not supposed to do this on their own and should only do so when signaled to do so by their handler either by touch or motion/gesture (or a very quiet verbal command, so as not to startle the bird).


~Click on the link below to watch an instructive and well presented video demonstrating what this looks like in an actual field setting.  Trust me, it's fascintating and worth a few minutes to watch!