Proof is in the Pudding

I'm watching a movie about competitive butter sculptors.  No, I did not make that up in an incoherent haze of being both physically ill and medicated.

I've also read seven Nancy Drew novels (on my beloved Kindle) in the past... two or three days?  Four?  I'm not really sure, but that's not the point.  The point is, if you'd like books one through fifty-six let me know and I'll send them to your Kindle.

A one hour nap turned into four; I only woke up at that point because Gats stretched out in his sleep and clocked me in the eye with an enormous rear paw.  This dog has shovels for feet.  The front paws, from the back of the large foot pad to the end of his middle toes (this is excluding his nails, which are roughly the diameter of a No. 2 pencil) are FOUR INCHES across.  Rear paws are probably three or three and a half inches long/across/front-to-back/whatever.

Thankfully I don't have a black eye.  Good grief.

 I also changed the ringtone on my iPhone to a quacking duck and the incoming & outgoing text message alert to a bird whistle.  Pure enjoyment, when you own there bird dogs.  :)

Ten minutes and pasta will be done; I cannot believe I am boiling water, in Tucson, in JUNE, during the day.  Ugh.  Pure madness.

But then again, I'm about to start a movie about competitive butter sculptors.

I think that is self explanatory.

Also, the title of this post is making me crave butterscotch pudding.

Three or four hours of hard work today (read: dog rescue work), even though I am supposed to be "resting" and "taking it easy."  I'd venture to guess that is why my afternoon siesta was... what it was.  Excluding the being kicked awake by a GSP... that pretty much is what passes for normal around here.

Yes, I understand that this is nothing but rambling, babbling rubbish that almost no one would care to read.  Oh, well!

P.S.  The above-mentioned movie is called "Butter."  Shocking.

P.P.S.  It has occurred to me that the title of this post doesn't make much sense when compared to the content of this post.  Guess what?  Not going to change it.  (I still want butterscotch pudding.)

Between Chapters

Sporadic is the best word I can use to describe my blog posts over the past several months; writer's block has been a persistent ailment and I'm determined to overcome it... even if it means writing some complete drivel to chip off the rust and flush out the pipes.

That was a terrible analogy.

I really am out of practice.

Between the stress of the dog rescue (5 dogs needing foster homes; no adoptions and every new foster we've had has fallen through... at least half a dozen, total), financial worries, weeks of respiratory illness, and overall exhaustion from 18 months of non-stop chaos it is hard to find the energy or motivation to write, as good as it is for my mind and sanity to creatively express myself.

Yet, their is hopefulness in the midst of all this weightiness.  Things have got to change and changing they are already.  I've applied for what would be very close to a dream job for me, in Michigan about 45 minutes from where my parents and grandparents live.  Hopefully I'll have an answer within the week so that I can give my landlord notice.  My lease is up at the end of July so I will have to give 30 days notice to either vacate or renew my lease.  The idea of a fresh start, even out in the boondocks, sounds exciting and rejuvenating.

I've been reading a lot lately and have gotten better acquainted with my Kindle (and the marvelous things it can do!).  The first 56 Nancy Drew novels will be eating up my spare time for a while, in addition to a complete collection of Antonin Chekhov's short stories and an actual "real" book version of Food Fight by Daniel Imhoff which is describe as a "primer to the US Farm Bill."

A Poem - Desiderata, By Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Not the Post I Had Planned

The update that I promised and didn't deliver is still not written.  I think I might need another couple of days to continue to decompress and fully grasp what I saw when I spent the evening in the company of friends and dog rescue veterans at a place called the "Dog Patch."  It's a dumping ground for dogs, out in the desert, but it's so much more than that and I wasn't expecting the severity of the impact that the time I spent there had on me.  That is still another post for another day, albeit one this coming week.

Instead I'll shared some photos of my German shorthaired pointer Gatsby who went with me to the Book Fair on the University of Arizona campus today.  I bought him an ear of roasted corn (which he normally LOVES and will steal from the grill if you're not watchful), which he refused to eat until we got home.

He also locked onto a pair of doves on our way home, as you can see by the photo of him on point to the above.  Not the best angle, but it was a solid, intense point.  Good boy!  (Click the photo to see it full sized!)

CORN DOG!

Gatsby loves corn on the cob.  And the cob itself.  But not the husk.  He spit that right out!

Quiet Possibly the World's Worst Update

While I should be cleaning my glorified dog kennel (aka, my house), here I sit attempting to write something substantial enough to be worthy of my friend Cheryl's plug on Facebook.  "Read Garnet's blog!  She hardly ever writes a post because she's too busy rescuing dogs, eating organic sprouts, having vegan tea parties or watching Foyle's War on Netflix!"

Crap.

To same time and words, here is a photo:  (I am now going to look through recently uploaded iPhone photos to select something suitably attention garnerning.)

Okay, here we go.  This was an AWESOME dinner created by the contents of our Sunizona FarmBox (organic CSA from Willcox, AZ which is about an hour & a half from where I live in Tucson) and the contents of our (me, my friend S. & her mom) pantries.  Brown rice with ginger peanut sauce and mushrooms, carrots, red peppers, green onions, cilantro, crushed cashews, and sriracha.  Possibly a few other things.  It was tasty!  Not only is sharing a CSA box easy on our pocketbooks, but it is so nice to cook a family dinner together and have a real family meal.  Makes my heart happy and is just as good for my depression as my meds, if not more so.

Obligatory dog photo.  My beloved German shorthaired pointer, Gatsby, on the left and my supposed-to-be-foster-dog-but-probably-my-dog Foxtrot the Elhew English pointer on the right.

I will be undertaking a unique adventure this evening, that has ties to Lola Lulu's puppyhood.  The best part is that my friend is one his way and I haven't swept the floors, washed (or hidden) any dirty dishes OR taken a shower.  Yay!

Stay tuned for a poignant post (with photos) later tonight.

My Ongoing Food Conundrum

Anyone who knows me has probably noticed the ongoing struggle that I have with my diet and food in general.  I don't mean the eating junk food vs. eating healthy battle, but a more complex set of intertwined dilemmas what I am eating, where it is coming from, how much fossil fuel was used to get that food to me, how much am I spending on produce (probably 75% of my grocery purchases), can I sometimes eat meat and feel okay about that or not, and a lot of that comes down to "which is worse, item A or item B."  Ethics, compassion, environmental awareness, and my persistent desire to want to try every type of ingredient in the world.  Which is unfortunately obstructed my ethical beliefs and continually evolving relationship I have with what I want to eat, what I choose to eat, and what I sometimes secretly eat and feel like a horrible hypocrite about eating.  (Please to ask me to elaborate about that at this time... because I won't.  That's a different topic for another day.)

Another issue is how I choose to identify myself based upon my dietary choices.  Currently my self designated label is: ethical omnivore who eats mostly vegan.

Why?  Well, my philosophical beliefs combined with what I will admit is a slight lean towards selfish, hedonistic enjoyment of food determines "what I would eat, if everyone I would eat was available to me."  Example:  Eating humanely hunted wild game is more ethically sound than eating CAFO beef or factory farmed chicken.  The amount of suffering the animal endures in it's lifetime is the determining factor for me.  However, I have little to no access to obtaining wild game so I pretty much stick to beans, nuts, whole grains, etc. as protein sources.

Here are a few photos of meals I've prepared over the last week.  I'm a bit disappointed that I forgot to photograph the beet, caramelized onion & kale vegan quesadillas I made because they were out of this world amazing.  Next time!

Broccoli, onion, & sriracha vegan quesadillas (make with pepperjack Daiya "cheese").

 Vegan root veggies & wilted kale with Organic Seeduction bread from Whole Foods.

(Topped with sriracha and nutritional yeast, which is my mostly discovered food love.)

 Two muchrooms, two tomatoes, & a quarter green bell pepper quickly sauteed with a dash of olive oil, drizzle of balsamic, and sriracha.

Topped with raw sunflower seeds, nutritional yeast and a handful of bruised Italian parsley.

(Would have been better with added white beans, but alas my pantry is lacking.)

The Tale of Four Testicles, Part One (and Recap)

This should probably be the third installment of the saga of how having two intact male dogs in a small house isn't much fun, but I had hoped the situation wouldn't develop into a several days long epic.

Lola Lulu (black dog) meeting Valentine (red dog).

Summary of events, thus far:

- Two days ago I rescued an elderly purebred Hungarian Vizsla from the Pima county shelter.  Yes, I forgot to ask if he was neutered (entirely my fault)... I was distracted by his severely atrophied right rear hip and leg.  He was old, very sweet, and could only walk on three legs, so of course I took him home and named him Valentine.

- Initial introductions in the yard with all four dogs went smoothly.  Foxtrot (my foster English pointer, a 7 year old intact male) got kinda stiff & stared at him, but I intervened and he let it go... until we got into the house and he jumped Valentine.  Thankfully he was just being nasty/threatening (read: loud and snarly, but didn't bite down or break skin), but the dogs were separated which meant Foxtrot went into his crate in the bedroom.

Foxtrot meeting Valentine; notice the fully upright, tense tail and stiff posture. 

- To set the stage for these events, I live in a small one bedroom cottage style house.  In Arizona we call them "casitas."  There are no doors to separate the rooms, with the exception of the bathroom.  The only other doors belonging to the closet, the kitchen (leads to the backyard), and the living room (leads to the outside world).  Other than using crates/kennels there isn't any way to keep the dogs separated except outside in the yard (which is separated into two yards if you shut the gate).  Valentine FREAKS OUT in a crate: panting, drooling, trying to "dig" out of it, and he actually got his lower jaw stuck between the bars and I had to help him get un-stuck before he hurt himself.

- I tried reintroducing them in the yard twice yesterday (without my two dogs) and the first went very poorly, while the second was not too bad.

- Overnight Valentine has free reign of the living room and kitchen.  I use the sofa to block off my bedroom doorway (my dogs can easily jump over, but Valentine can't) and I'll let Foxtrot get up on the bed (with a slip lead on, so he doesn't bolt over the sofa and pounce on Valentine) to cuddle before bed.  He is still sleeping in his crate overnight.

- The daily routine involves rotating the dogs in and out of the house (which does mean either putting Valentine in the back yard by himself and giving Foxtrot house/front yard freedom or putting Valentine temporarily in a crate so that I can let Foxtrot out into the yard.

Just typing this all up is exhausting...

Fast forward to this morning:  Valentine is in the backyard, Lola & Gatsby are in the front yard and I brought Foxtrot out on a slip lead.  He didn't posture or behave nastily toward Valentine at the fence, so I opened the gate.  Foxtrot mostly ignored him and paid complete attention to me (being somewhat of a nuisance, but I'm letting that slide for now).  Only the smallest incident occurred when Valentine sniffed Foxtrot's rear and Foxtrot stiffened up & whipped his head around... I said his name and he swung his head back around toward me, relaxed instantly, and I praised him.  He then happily followed me into the house and I shut the door behind us, wanting to end this "exercise" on a good note.  We also had some cuddle time on the couch and he got to hang out with me in the kitchen while I got breakfast started, before he went back into his crate and I let the other dogs into the house.

Babysteps!

We'll try again this afternoon and see how that goes.  Foxtrot's intense bond with me is working toward a positive end.  His choice is basically between getting love & attention from me or fighting with Valentine and this morning he chose positive attention from me instead of the latter.

Progress!

Backsliding and Becoming Buried

Once again I have been neglecting both my blog and my constant inclination to write.  To say my life has gone to the dogs is something of an understatement.  We're rescued five more dogs since my last post and I think I might have shaved my legs once or possibly twice since then (honestly not sure about that).

My spare time is usually the several hours past "bedtime" that I'm unable to sleep and I spend it watching social/cultural/food-related documentaries or British mystery TV shows on Netflix.  The former of which sends my mind churning and gives me plenty to write about, but by that time of the night I'm too unmotivated to do more than write out an outline that inevitably gets lost under pages of notes about dogs, potential fosters, shelter contact info, etc.

I've been cooking less or at least cooking less interesting things.  Mostly peanut butter and raspberry preserve sandwiches (usually with sliced jalapenos in the mix) or some concoction of brown steamed rice with veggies, beans, etc.  My home has also become almost unbearably cluttered, which doesn't help my mental state (which is already overwhelmed as it is).

The combined symptoms lead me to believe that I am:

A.   Over-worked

and

B.    Becoming depressed

My solution to that is to drink a lot of coffee today and start sorting things to donate & get rid of.  That might sound like an odd place to start, but it's mentally refreshing for me to get rid of "stuff."  Over the years I have become less and less a fan of "stuff."  Having too much of it around actually annoys me, but I often don't have or don't make the time to get rid of it properly.

More later today about better and brighter things, but for now I need to get to work...